Recovering from Burnout with IFS Week 5
Understanding and Working with Firefighter Parts
Introduction
So far, we have spent time getting to know managers—the parts that keep us productive, organised, and striving for control. But there is another category of protectors that plays a big role in burnout: firefighters.
Firefighter parts respond to distress by seeking immediate relief. They often activate when emotions feel overwhelming, when exhaustion becomes intolerable, or when old wounds are triggered. Firefighters use quick, intense strategies to shut down discomfort, such as binge-watching TV, emotional eating, excessive social media use, over-exercising, or even riskier behaviours like substance use or self-harm.
This week, we will explore how firefighter parts operate, how they relate to burnout, and how to work with them rather than feeling at war with their coping strategies.
Concepts
What Are Firefighter Parts?
Firefighters act as emergency responders in the internal system. Unlike managers, who try to maintain control through planning and perfectionism, firefighters react impulsively when emotions become too intense to handle. Their goal is to numb, distract, or escape from distress.
Common firefighter-driven behaviours include:
Avoidance & dissociation: Doom-scrolling, binge-watching TV, excessive online shopping.
Soothing & numbing: Emotional eating, substance use, compulsive sleeping.
Extreme exertion: Over-exercising, workaholism, thrill-seeking activities.
Disconnection & withdrawal: Isolating from relationships, shutting down emotionally.
Firefighters are not bad parts—they are trying to help. But their methods often bring short-term relief at the cost of long-term well-being.
Firefighters and Burnout
Firefighters tend to show up more frequently and intensely when burnout sets in because:
Managers are exhausted. When our usual self-control strategies fail, firefighters step in to take over.
Nervous system overwhelm increases. Firefighters attempt to shut down stress responses when they feel unmanageable.
Avoidance becomes tempting. Instead of addressing underlying issues, firefighters push us toward escapism.
Understanding this cycle helps us relate to firefighters with more compassion instead of feeling ashamed of their behaviours.
Why Firefighters Don’t Trust Self
Many firefighter parts don’t trust that Self can handle pain or distress. This is why they take over so forcefully.
They may believe:
"If I don’t step in, the pain will never stop."
"No one is coming to help, so I have to handle this alone."
"Feeling emotions will be unbearable, so I need to block them."
To build trust with firefighters, we need to show them that:
Self is capable of handling difficult emotions.
There are alternative ways to find relief that are not as extreme.
They are not alone in their job.
Exercises
Exercise 1: Getting to Know a Firefighter Part
Find a quiet space and take a few deep breaths.
Think about a time when you engaged in an impulsive or numbing behaviour (e.g., binge-watching, overeating, scrolling endlessly).
Ask inside: Is there a part of me that was driving this behaviour?
If a firefighter part shows up, get curious:
What is this part trying to protect me from feeling?
What does it believe would happen if it didn’t step in?
How long has it been doing this job?
Thank the part for sharing and let it know you see its efforts to protect you.
Exercise 2: Pausing and Noticing Firefighters in Action
Rather than trying to change firefighter behaviours immediately, the first step is simply noticing when they are active.
Pause when you catch yourself in a firefighter-driven behaviour. (E.g., reaching for your phone, binge-watching, or eating for comfort.)
Name the part that is active. You don’t need to change anything—just recognise it. Example: “I see that my scrolling part is here.”
See if you can connect with the part. If possible, acknowledge its presence with curiosity. Ask it: How are you trying to help me right now?
Ask for space. If the firefighter is open to it, gently ask: “Would you be willing to give me a little space right now?” If the answer is no, that’s okay. Just observing is enough for now.
If nothing changes, that’s okay. Firefighters are strong. At this point, it's enough to simply practice awareness of these parts when they show up.
Exercise 3: Identifying Polarities in Your System
Often, our internal system contains polarised parts—two or more parts that are in opposition to each other. This is very common with managers and firefighters. For example, you might have a firefighter part that engages in emotional eating, while a manager part criticises it, tries to control it, and shames it into changing.
This exercise helps you recognise polarised dynamics within your system.
Identify one firefighter behaviour that you are familiar with in your system. Draw or write it down on a piece of paper.
Look at the illustration and notice any internal reactions. Do you have a part that feels judgmental, critical, or frustrated about this behaviour? Perhaps parts that have tried to change the firefighter part or get rid of it? These are manager parts that are polarised with the firefighter.
Illustrate these manager parts on a piece of paper. Draw them as characters, symbols, or shapes—whatever feels right.
Map their relationship. Draw connections between these parts, showing where polarisation exists.
Reflect on their dynamic:
How do these parts influence each other?
What are they each trying to achieve?
How might you start holding space for both without forcing one to dominate the other?
This exercise is not about fixing the polarity but bringing awareness to it, which is the first step in helping these parts work together rather than against each other.
A Quick Note About Firefighters
Firefighter parts often carry shame because they have been misunderstood or judged for their extreme behaviours. The more we approach them with compassion rather than resistance, the easier it becomes to shift their responses.
This process takes time. Firefighters won’t immediately step back just because we ask them to. But with consistent attention and trust-building, they can relax their intensity and find healthier ways to help.
Closing Reflection
This week, you explored how firefighter parts operate, why they take over, and how to work with them compassionately.
Journaling Prompts:
What firefighter behaviours show up most in my life?
What might these parts be trying to protect me from?
How can I offer them alternative ways to find relief?
What is one thing I can do this week to connect with a firefighter part instead of pushing it away?