ENGLISH-SPEAKING IFS THERAPY FOR INDIVIDUALS · ONLINE ACROSS SWEDEN, THE UK, EUROPE & ASIA
IFS Therapy for Relationship Struggles and Breakups
For anyone who keeps getting caught in the same feelings about love, and wants to understand what’s happening inside.
Love can stir up more than you expect.
Maybe you’re in a relationship that looks good on paper, and you still can’t settle into it. Maybe it ended months ago and you’re still replaying it. Or maybe you notice the same pattern every time you get close to someone, and you’re tired of it.
You might recognise some of this:
A breakup has hit you harder than you think it “should”, and people keep telling you to move on.
You lose yourself in relationships, and only notice once they’re over.
You feel anxious when someone pulls away, or uneasy when they get close.
You keep choosing similar people, or ending up in the same arguments.
Hurt from a past relationship still shapes how you show up in new ones.
Your relationship doesn’t fit the usual template, and you’re tired of explaining it.
None of this means you’re bad at relationships. It usually means different parts of you are trying to keep you safe.
This is individual therapy, for you.
We work one-to-one on your inner world: what you feel, what you fear and what you long for in relationships. Your partner, partners or ex don’t need to be involved, and you don’t need to be in a relationship right now.
I don’t offer couples therapy, but this work often changes how you show up with the people you love.
This is a good fit if you:
are struggling in a current relationship and want to understand your side of the pattern
are grieving a breakup, whether it ended last week or years ago
notice the same patterns repeating across relationships
want depth rather than dating advice or quick coping tips
Relationships bring all of your parts to the surface.
IFS (Internal Family Systems) sees the mind as made up of different parts, each with its own feelings, beliefs and job. Close relationships tend to wake all of them up at once, which is why love can feel so confusing.
Some parts protect you by staying alert. They scan for signs of rejection, analyse every message or keep one foot out of the door.
Other parts protect you by holding on. They people-please, over-give or put your own needs aside so the connection doesn’t break.
Underneath both are often younger parts carrying old hurt: times you felt left, not chosen or “too much”. When a relationship touches those places, your reaction can be much bigger than the moment seems to call for.
In IFS, we get to know these parts with curiosity rather than judgement. Once they feel understood, they don’t need to fight so hard, and you have more choice about how you respond.
Together, we can:
Make room for the grief, anger, longing and relief that can all show up after a breakup.
Understand the protective patterns you bring into relationships, and where they first learned their job.
Care for the younger parts that carry fears of abandonment, rejection or not being enough.
Build trust in yourself, so you rely less on your partner, your friends or the internet for reassurance.
Common relationship struggles I work with
Each of these looks different from the inside. Here’s how IFS can help.
-
Losing a person, the future you imagined and sometimes part of who you were.
We’ll give each part of the grief room, including the parts that feel angry, relieved or still hopeful.
-
Anxiety when someone pulls away, or the urge to retreat when they get close.
We’ll get to know the protectors behind these patterns and the younger parts they’re guarding.
-
Over-giving, people-pleasing or shaping yourself around someone else’s needs.
We’ll find out what these parts fear would happen if you took up more space.
-
Infidelity, broken agreements or being let down by someone you relied on.
We’ll care for the parts that were hurt, and the protectors that now keep you guarded.
-
Jealousy, insecurity, multiple attachments and feelings that don’t fit a script.
We’ll explore what comes up for your parts, without judging the structure you’ve chosen.
-
Similar partners, similar arguments, similar endings.
We’ll trace the pattern back to the parts driving it, so you can start to choose differently.
All relationships are welcome here.
That includes monogamous, non-monogamous, queer, long-distance, on-and-off or undefined relationships, or something in between.
I’m LGBTQIA+ and non-monogamy affirming, so you won’t need to explain the basics before we get to what matters. We focus on what’s hard for you, not on whether your relationship looks the way it’s “supposed to”.
How to get started with therapy
Starting therapy can feel like a big step. Here’s what the process looks like, so you know what to expect.
1. Get in touch
Fill in the contact form with a few lines about what’s bringing you to therapy. You don’t need to have the right words for it; a rough sense is enough. I’ll reply by email sharing my availability and sending you a link to book your initial meeting with me.
2. Meet for a first session
We’ll meet online on Zoom for our first session. This is a chance for you to tell me a bit more about what you’re looking for, ask any questions about IFS or how I work, and get a feel for whether we’re a good fit.
We may spend the first session just talking, or we might also start with some IFS work and get to know a part of you that you’ve been curious about. There’s no commitment to continue.
3. Begin weekly sessions
If we feel it’s right to work together, we’ll find a regular day and time for weekly sessions. Having a set weekly time gives the work a steady rhythm and gives you a reliable space that’s yours.
FAQs
Some common questions about individual therapy for relationship struggles.
-
No, I work with individuals only. Many clients bring their relationships into sessions, but the focus is always on your own inner world.
-
Not at all. Some clients are in a relationship, some are recently single, and some are working through something that ended years ago.
-
No. Whether it ended recently, years ago, or you’re still hoping to reconcile, we start from where you are.
-
Yes. I welcome clients of all genders, sexualities and relationship structures, and your relationships are met with curiosity and respect here.
-
Often, yes. Rather than analysing the relationship, IFS works directly with the parts that hold your deepest feelings and beliefs about love, and that’s where lasting change tends to happen.
-
Yes. I work online in English with adults in Sweden, the UK, across Europe and in Asia.
